How bored am I today??

Got a chance to sleep-in a bit this morning. Mostly because I forgot to set my alarm and Celeste realized I was sleeping soundly and didn't want to wake me. Sadly, that made me late for taking my medication. Oh, it wasn't so late that it made me ill or have a bad reaction -- it just meant that the time I would be zonked-out because of the side-effects would be much later in the morning and could have screwed up my schedule for the day.

But then I remembered, I didn't have a schedule for today. Laundry was done by Husband (THANK YOU!) and the dogs and cat were watered and fed this morning by Youngest Son.

So, what have I done today? Sadly, I've sat and watched a marathon of The Pink Panther, Return of the Pink Panther, and Revenge of the Pink Panther. If I wanted to, I could switch the channel at the moment and watch A Shot in the Dark -- the funniest of all of the "Pink Panther/Inspector Clouseau" movies. Actually, my favorite characters are Cato and Inspector Dreyfus. Burt Kwuok was hysterical and Herbert Lom perfected the nervous tic that showed just how insane Clouseau made Dreyfus.

I remember watching the early "Pink Panther" movies on television (since I wasn't born when they were made) but the later ones I remember going to see in the theater. Of course, as a kid, I thought the slapstick was hysterical. Now that I'm much older, the same things don't make me laugh but I still get a big chuckle out of the jokes I didn't understand years ago.

Classic movies are the ones that can stand the test of time. I worry, though, that these classics will soon be removed from the "classic bin" because many people today would not get the jokes and/or cultural/current event references made in them.

ZZZzzzzzz....

Best of all he (Odin) liked to sleep. Sleeping was a very important activity for him. He liked to sleep for longish periods, great swathes of time. Merely sleeping overnight was not taking the business seriously. He enjoyed a good night's sleep and wouldn't miss one for the world, but found it as anything halfway near enough. He liked to be asleep by half-past eleven in the morning if possible, and if that should come directly after a nice leisurely lie-in then so much the better. A little light breakfast and a quick trip to the bathroom while fresh linen was applied to his bed is really all the activity he liked to undertake, and he took care that it didn't jaunt the sleepiness out of him and disturb his afternoon of napping. Sometimes he was able to spend an entire week asleep, and this he regarded as a good snooze. He had also slept through the whole of 1986 and hadn't missed it. - Douglas Adams, The Long, Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

It's a long weekend and I've enjoyed quite a nice, long nap today. I have to sincerely thank Husband and Youngest Son for allowing me to sleep-in this morning. Well, when I say "sleep-in" I mean that I did get up at my usual time to take my medications and let the dogs go outside for "walkies." But, while they went to yard sales I was allowed to crawl back into bed and sleep away a lot of the stresses from this past week. I don't usually do that, but today it was imperative that I do so. Plus, weird dreams when I'm stressed-out happen and if only I could have filmed it. I would have made a great B-movie (or even worse).

Could today get any worse?

Yes. Yes it could.

Thank you for reading.

When did eBay think it could be my parent??

Well, maybe the title is a bit unfair. I have been away from selling on eBay for a while because (1) I've either been deployed away working for my former job and making a decent salary or (2) the items I've found that would have gone for sale on eBay either sold quickly on my website or at a gun/militaria show. And Husband has been fabulous at keeping items listed on eBay when I'm not available and there's something that we know we can make a decent amount of money on if we can just find the right audience. Like, say, the entire eBay-ing world!

But today was just annoying! I've got a few items and some books that I want to list and figured that since I still have all of my templates saved it would be a breeze! When did eBay decide they can tell me what I can and can't say and how I can and can't say it?

For example, I have strict shipping requirements. The reason for that is because I've sold many items to people overseas and they've received their items within the usual shipping period and have let me know that they've arrived safely. I've also had many items shipped to people here in the United States -- some in states bordering my own -- and been told that either the item was never received or that it was extremely damaged and they wanted their money back. When I'd ask for photographic proof of the damages to the item and shipping container, they would have an excuse for not being able to provide it. And they always picked the cheapest route with no insurance or tracking capabilities so there was never any way to determine if the item had or hadn't arrived. So, I changed all of my shipping to a commercial shipping organization in brown uniforms because they offered free insurance (up to $100) for the value of the item and I as well as the buyer could track the shipment all the way to their door. My attitude became, "If you don't like it, you don't have to buy from me. I'm protecting myself and my company from idiots who just want something for free."

So, I would list in my eBay auctions to "Be sure to read all shipping policy information and if you're not willing to pay the extra expense, do not bid on my items!" Straight and to the point. No wishy-washy customer-servicey happy namby-pamby phrasing. I prefer to tell it like it is. Make it clear and plain so that it translates into any language easily (even stupid) and, no, the customer is not always right.

You would have thought that I'd tried to incite a war with the way eBay reacted! I had my template completed for the first item I wanted to list and big, bold "warning" boxes popped up on my screen telling me that I needed to review my return policy before they'd let me list the item. I'd said in my description that the buyer would need to read my policy information and even provided a link for it. That wasn't good enough. I'd have to fill out a form to make it simple. So I clicked back to fill in the form and they didn't offer anything like what I offer. In my business, photographs and printed materials are not allowed to be returned because it doesn't take a genius to know that some unscrupulous person will just scan it and make all of the copies they want and claim they're originals and sell them. The eBay form had nowhere I could specify that. So, I stated it in the little box they give you for additional information.

Then another pop-up box appeared. It didn't like the fact that I said I wouldn't accept money orders as payment. It also informed me that money orders were no longer allowed as payment through eBay except in certain categories (mostly eBay Motors). It wouldn't let me post my item because I said I wouldn't accept something that it won't allow me to accept in the first place. Ahhh....someone in programming figured out how to make the system recognize words but not the context of them. If I don't have the option to accept money orders checked in the payment box, what difference does it make if I say I won't accept them in the description? But, it wouldn't allow me to list my item until I went back and removed the offending sentence.

Finally, just when I thought I'd get my item listed, the shipping payment information I included caused the largest box to pop-up on the screen. It basically said that the way I phrased my listing by stating that if someone didn't want to pay for something that they shouldn't bid was wrong and I could drive away customers.

Um....that's kind of the point!! If they're not willing to pay extra for the shipping services to ensure that it arrives at their residence/office/deserted island, then I don't want to fool with someone trying to argue with me that they "really want to complete the auction and pay the money due but the shipping is just too expensive and [they] had no idea whatsoever that [I] would charge such an extravagant amount and how dare [I] not know that [they] are always good for their word and that [I] am insulting [them] by not just slapping a stamp on the item or, in [their] opinion, sending it for free." I've gotten so frustrated and people trying to argue about shipping at times I've told them I'll just stick their item in an envelope, put a stamp on it, and wish them the best of luck 'cause what they want to pay isn't going to get their item to them.

The pop-up box continued to chastise me on being "unprofessional" and how it could hurt me from becoming one of their Top Sellers. I don't list enough stuff to be a "Top Seller" and if I was operating a storefront instead of an online business (which I've done), my attitude would be exactly the same. It's not being "unprofessional" -- it's being honest. And, as I said earlier, the customer is not always right.

After over an hour of changing and adding and subtracting things from the listing, it finally let me post my item. All that work for something that's got a starting bid of $5. AND, I got a notice that they're changing the rules/regulations on listing items again May 1st (tomorrow).

I'll wait until the 2nd to list more items, if it will let me. Hopefully they will have made their minds up on what those of us who list our items for sale (and are the ones who've made them successful) will be allowed to do. It's sad when a company gets too big for its britches. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Discovery's Mythbusters: Duct Tape Island and Unchained Reaction episode 2

Yeah, I know. I should have posted my reviews last night but I was really busy and the whole fence thing had me miffed. Today it wasn't any better as I found my decorative fencing around my precious morel mushrooms moved (looks like it was kicked), but I digress.

Last night was Discovery Channel's night for the new season of Mythbusters and for the second episode of Unchained Reaction. One was slightly impressive while the other was educational but way too hokey to believe.

I'll start with Mythbusters: Duct Tape Island -- a one-hour episode featuring only Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman as they attempt to survive on a desert island with only duct tape available to them. I had a feeling the show was going to be silly because the announcer said they had "an endless supply" of it. So, if you thought that the small pallet of duct tape that "washed-up" on the beach was all they had, think again. And we all knew that they wouldn't actually be in danger of starving or dehydrating because they had a camera crew with them. It's not like we're watching Survivorman, y'all.

In the intro to the "story," they show the outline of an island. Anyone with basic U.S. geography skills would have immediately recognized the shape as the silhouette of Oahu, one of the Hawaiian Islands. If you need more information, it's the island where Honolulu and Pearl Harbor are located. Oahu is definitely not deserted, but they were able to find a beach resort where they could film their show.

Oh, did I say "resort?" Why, yes I did -- and that's an important thing to remember while reading the rest of this review (remember "Turtle Bay" and Lost).

So, the guys are "stranded" and have to figure out how to signal for help, find water, find food, make clothing, make a shelter, stay focused, and escape from the island. Signaling for help was easy. They created a huge "SOS" sign out of duct tape and rocks on the beach. The down side to their attempt is that duct tape is gray and doesn't reflect well when covered with sand, making it harder for someone overhead to see.

When they attempted to find water, they did stage a good explanation of how you can't drink just any water you find lying around. Jamie (the brains) and Adam (Captain ADD-man) were each given different tasks to find water. Jamie used the shrink-wrap that covered the pallet of duct tape to make a solar still in order to collect water. While it's a good and scientific idea, a solar still would not make enough water for two people in a reasonable amount of time. Evaporation and condensation takes a while and it wasn't a plausible idea for them. Adam, however, did find running fresh water and made a water-bag out of duct tape so he could return with potable water for them to enjoy.

Both of the guys created unique shoes using duct tape which made walking on the hot sand, grasses, and rocks more bearable. Adam even made himself a hat since he is very susceptible to the rays of the sun on his fair skin, and so that people who are used to him wearing his Stetson while Jamie has his iconic beret (which was present) could tell them apart.

As for finding food, Jamie was rather ingenious and successful in spear fishing. He used bamboo and wood shards to create a multi-pronged spear and even added a small duct tape retrieval string and marked the center of balance to make it easier for him to throw. Once he got off the shore and into the water, he actually speared a small fish. True, he'd need a lot more than that to feed both of them, but it was successful and fun to watch. Adam, however, was running around in the jungle after feral chickens. Realizing that he could not catch one on foot, he first tried a simple snare trap with duct tape "wire" (which didn't work) and then made a net out of the duct tape with which to catch a passing chicken. The first chicken "caught" escaped through a hole in the side but the second was successfully captured. Then, Adam made the announcement that the chicken they would be seen eating in a later scene was store-bought and not the chicken he had just caught. The part he didn't explain is that feral chickens are protected as wildlife in Hawaii and cannot be captured without special permits/licenses. And Jamie didn't eat the fish he caught either. Both sat on the beach with their duct tape bag of fried chicken and duct tape platter of raw tuna and discussed how proud they were of their hunting abilities.

Adam created a "permanent camp" out of duct tape with hammocks and even a small table and stools with a duct tape chess set (to help them stay focused). It seemed odd that they'd try to make a "permanent camp" if they were trying to escape from the island, but it's television and if you try to reason it out too much you'll just give yourself a headache. Jamie made himself a surfboard out of duct tape and took it for a quick float in the ocean (he wasn't able to stand up on it). Finally, the guys made an outrigger canoe that surprisingly weighed just over 100 pounds from bamboo and duct tape that carried them and their "6-week supply of rations" out into the ocean. I was impressed that they were able to make it over the breaker waves without the boat twisting or sinking. Jamie even noted that the only water he was having to bail was what Adam was sloshing into the boat with his poor rowing skills. Finally, they "found land" and disembarked their canoe, only to find they were back on the same beach as before (cue comedic sound effects and rimshot).

And why wouldn't they return to the same beach? They never left it. Well, except to sleep and eat and get refreshed before continuing the shooting for each of the seven days they were out there. They did not sleep on their duct tape pads nor in their duct tape hammocks. They stayed at the Turtle Bay Resort with the rest of the crew and used locations that were utilized in the filming of the show Lost. That way, they knew were everything was an how easily to get their inventions built and useable. In one of the outtakes Adam makes a comment that there are too many footprints in the sand for it to be a deserted island. While it was fun to watch, it was quite disappointing to know that they weren't really trying to survive at any point. Sure, they showed how duct tape can work in many ways, but it still took all of the fun out of it. I'm sure they did it that way because the insurance companies wouldn't want Discovery losing two of their biggest stars.

And Discovery has used two of their biggest stars to hawk their new show Unchained Reaction. I'm not sure how much of it really is/isn't Adam and Jamie's idea, but having them introduce the theme, pretending to watch the building of the chain-reaction gags, and then coming out to "judge" and announce the winner doesn't really sell me that it's their idea. I wasn't impressed with the premiere episode, but I thought I'd give the second one a chance.

In the "Fire and Ice" episode, a team of aerospace engineers went up against a team of special effects specialists. They had to use fire and ice in their contraptions and had to have a minimum of five gags that would continuously set off the next as well as be innovative and entertaining. Halfway through the build, Adam and Jamie "gave" each team a compact car that they had to incorporate into the middle of their machine and it all had to be completed within five days.

The aerospace engineers did some really neat things with the fire and ice and showing fire making steam and melted ice (water) conducting electricity after salt was added when it was tripped into a tank. They even got the closest to a Rube Goldberg Machine concept because they stated that they wanted their machine to raise a flag at the end in a miniature moonscape diorama. Sadly, the beginning of their machine didn't work as planned but they did get the flag raised in the end, after nearly hitting Adam and Jamie and special guest judge Adam Sadowsky, president of Syyn Labs and creator of the Rube Goldberg machine for the OK Go video, with a rocket that flew across the room into a refrigerator to trigger the flag.

The special effects team didn't get as technical but were a lot flashier with their contraption. They used fire and ice in their gags as well as melting a huge block of ice in a cauldron of fire to turn a waterwheel underneath it to trigger another gag. They had explosive results and it was a lot of fun to watch. They won the contest because their machine worked and had no issues.

I think what I became the most tired of hearing throughout the show was how they were trying to impress Adam and Jamie. It was always "Adam and Jamie would want" this and "Adam and Jamie think like" that but Adam and Jamie aren't really in the show. I'll probably watch the next episode to see if the third time's the charm on getting me to like it. But at the moment, they could take Adam and Jamie out of it, make it about creating actual Rube Goldberg Machines (that have to complete a specific task) and it would be a lot more fun to watch.

What am I doing....

This blog thing sounded so simple when it started. "Sure, you've got free-time -- fill it by writing!" the "voices" said.

"You've got such interesting stories, they need to be written down," the therapist said.

"Your stories and the way you tell them are hysterical! You could be famous if you wrote a book!" the family members said.

Today I sat down and looked at the calendar. "If you'd just gotten off your duff and started the blog on your 40th birthday like you wanted, you'd be almost done by now!" my mind said. It's now got the "voices" taunting me over my ability to procrastinate like there's always a tomorrow to do something.

I'm into my third month of this and I don't feel like I've made any really insightful posts. No words of wisdom that others would inspire others. Oh, sure, when I ranted about the crappy military collector's show and the one where they freeze-dried people's pets, those got a lot of responses. And, yes, my political rantings have had higher read-counts -- but those are fads. This political season is going to end in November whether we like the outcome or not. Based on what I'm hearing on the news and in other blogs and from my friends on Facebook, I don't think we're going to like it.

So today I thought about why I started the blog. One of the biggest reasons was so that I could dump all of the crap the "voices" in my head keep badgering me about into a place where I can (1) either deal with it in a fun instead of tragic way, (2) deal with issues that are so old yet still hurtful in order to try to make sense of them so I won't have to deal with them anymore, (3) dump ideas and work with them until I've created something useful or seen that it was a waste of time in the first place, or (4) at least keep my writing skills up-to-snuff and entertain and/or educate others. Husband and my therapist keep saying how stunned they are at the amount of things I know about and can pull obscure facts from thin air in mid-conversation. I thought maybe this would be the place to figure out how and why I know what I know because when they ask me where I learned it, I don't know.

But I look at today and the past few days and wonder if I'm actually accomplishing anything at all. Most of my days since last Friday have been spent either at the gun show (which was fun and we made a decent profit after expenses) or asleep because of the pain medication combined with my daily meds that can knock me on my butt without the extra help. I've been fretting over a community theatre production because if my name is going to be on the programme as a technical director, then dammit it's going to be the best I can produce because I have a basically non-existent professional theatrical reputation to uphold. (Yes, I did get to work with "Miss Saigon" and "Sunset Boulevard" when I went to London on a theatrical tour/internship, but that was in the 1990s and no one remembers it but me.) I'm a perfectionist and I don't like to skimp or slide-over particulars but I'm being forced to with no money, no assistance, and no time to make it better.

I've been trying to hide some medical issues that have come-up from certain extended family members because the last thing I need is a lot of drama over something no one can do anything about at the moment. My Step-Father recently severely broke his right leg and has another minor fracture in his left. He's having to stay at a rehabilitation hospital because he cannot walk at the moment (because of the rods and pins) and also needs his dialysis. This has me feeling bad that he's alone there because it's three hours away from where Biological Mother is at their home preparing it for when he can return home again. I'd go to visit him but my medical issue prevents me from traveling long distances by myself. And when Biological Mother asked me on the phone the other day how a doctor's appointment went, I had to remember that she was thinking of one months ago because I hadn't told her what's been happening. I hadn't told her that I went to that appointment which led me to two others with the same doctor and a referral to another specialist who has now referred me to another specialist I have to see next week and if that person can't figure out what's going on, then there's no real hope of ever fixing the problem.

So, I finally told her when she called the other day. I told her that I'd gone to the optometrist to get new glasses but the new prescription doesn't help me see any better than the old prescription. I tested lenses with the new prescription and couldn't see anything any clearer at any distance. I was referred to a glaucoma specialist because my optic nerve is cupped in a manner that, at first glance, would make any ophthalmologist jump to the conclusion that I have glaucoma. I've been told for over 20 years that I have low-tension glaucoma (the type that damages the eye but can't be detected by just measuring the pressure of the eye alone), so I went to have a special test done. It's called an OCT and I can't remember at the moment what it stands for but they flash lasers at my retinas and measure the depth and thickness of them to determine the amount of damage.

I took the results to the glaucoma specialist who said, in a very assertive tone, that I don't have glaucoma. He had me re-take the OCT exam as well as a visual field test. The visual field test is like sticking your head in a fishbowl where they place a patch over one eye and then flash dots of light at different intensities all around the domed surface and you're supposed to click a button when you see the flashing dot. Oh, and you have to stare at a bigger, red dot while they're doing that so you won't look around the bowl and cheat by looking for the lights. After they do one eye, they do the same thing for the other. I failed it badly. The technician kept trying to remind me to click the button when I saw the lights and I told her if she'd make the lights show up I'd click it. I didn't know that the test had already begun.

The glaucoma specialist then looked at my eyes again, reviewed the tests again, and examined my eyes to see how well I could see with my current glasses or with a new prescription. He came to the same conclusion -- a new prescription wasn't helping me see any clearer. As a matter of fact, my eyes had gotten even worse since the last time I saw him a few weeks before. Now there was a serious problem. In our state, if you can't see better than 20/50 with correction (glasses or contacts), you can't legally drive at night. I've been having a lot of problems with my night vision for a long time and had recently noticed that it was much, much worse. I just didn't know it was that much worse. He immediately referred me to a retinal specialist across the state to see if he could help fix whatever is going on because it's not glaucoma and he's now stumped.

So, I travel across the state to have another appointment. My eyes are dilated and another OCT test is done (I hope the insurance pays for all of these repeat tests). An angiogram of my retinas was done so that detailed photos could be taken to determine where the damages are. I know that I have a type of macular degeneration called Lattice Degeneration, but I couldn't imagine that after all of this time it would just start acting-up. Oh, and if they ever do an angiogram on your eyes, fair warning -- they inject flourescent dye into your veins so they can see the veins in your eyes but forget to tell you that you'll urinate flourescent colors for two days. Just thought you'd like to know.

The retinal specialist comes in, looks in my eye, and says, "You must have glaucoma based on your optic nerve." I tell him that if he'd read the notes and test results, he'd find that I don't have glaucoma. He stood there and read my file, reviewed every test result that was sent to him, looked in my eyes again, and said, "I don't know what you have." They checked my vision again and now I'm up to 20/60 with glasses. One more jump and I'll end up unable to legally drive -- day or night. he continued to check tests and the photos and reports before sitting down in front of me and admitting, "I can't do anything for you. There's nothing wrong with your retinas that should be causing this that I could fix. You need to see someone else."

Now I'm waiting until next week to see a neuro-ophthalmologist at one of the more-prestigious medical colleges in the United States (which happens to be across the state from where I live) so that they can scan my eyes, my optic nerves, my brain, and whatever else they decide to stick into a machine to see if there's a tumor, a damaged area, a disease, an alien, or something else. I'm waiting for the usual answer I get -- "It's all in your head." My eyes are in my head, so of course it's "in my head." I had an ophthalmologist once tell me it was "in my head" as if I was making it all up. He was quite humbled when a partner of his had to do a cryogenic surgery to repair a hole in my retina that the first one had missed by thinking I was pretending (and I didn't have to pay for the surgery). But now I'm facing the prospect of not being able to drive, not knowing what's causing this, and/or finding out that it could be something that can or can't be fixed easily and -- guess what -- Biological Mother is worried now. I didn't want her to be worried now because there's nothing that can be done until I have the tests and someone comes up with an answer. And if this doctor can't come up with an answer, there's no one left to see (no pun intended).

What am I doing? I'm sitting here completing one of the objectives of my blog by getting things out in the open and trying to get my "voices" to shut-up about them. But, at the same time, I'm boring the rest of y'all to death, announcing a problem that other family members still don't know about (but they might as well hear it from me here), and I'm still not feeling any better about it. If this is supposed to be therapeutic, it's not helping. Even Celeste is noticing the tension in the room and trying to get me to quit typing.

Am I doing this right? Is this actually going to work? It is worth the daily "freak-out" when I don't have a topic already in mind? Does it fundamentally matter in the greater scheme of things? And would anyone notice?

And, before anyone says it, the answer is not "42." I've already tried it and it's not worked....yet.