When did eBay think it could be my parent??

Well, maybe the title is a bit unfair. I have been away from selling on eBay for a while because (1) I've either been deployed away working for my former job and making a decent salary or (2) the items I've found that would have gone for sale on eBay either sold quickly on my website or at a gun/militaria show. And Husband has been fabulous at keeping items listed on eBay when I'm not available and there's something that we know we can make a decent amount of money on if we can just find the right audience. Like, say, the entire eBay-ing world!

But today was just annoying! I've got a few items and some books that I want to list and figured that since I still have all of my templates saved it would be a breeze! When did eBay decide they can tell me what I can and can't say and how I can and can't say it?

For example, I have strict shipping requirements. The reason for that is because I've sold many items to people overseas and they've received their items within the usual shipping period and have let me know that they've arrived safely. I've also had many items shipped to people here in the United States -- some in states bordering my own -- and been told that either the item was never received or that it was extremely damaged and they wanted their money back. When I'd ask for photographic proof of the damages to the item and shipping container, they would have an excuse for not being able to provide it. And they always picked the cheapest route with no insurance or tracking capabilities so there was never any way to determine if the item had or hadn't arrived. So, I changed all of my shipping to a commercial shipping organization in brown uniforms because they offered free insurance (up to $100) for the value of the item and I as well as the buyer could track the shipment all the way to their door. My attitude became, "If you don't like it, you don't have to buy from me. I'm protecting myself and my company from idiots who just want something for free."

So, I would list in my eBay auctions to "Be sure to read all shipping policy information and if you're not willing to pay the extra expense, do not bid on my items!" Straight and to the point. No wishy-washy customer-servicey happy namby-pamby phrasing. I prefer to tell it like it is. Make it clear and plain so that it translates into any language easily (even stupid) and, no, the customer is not always right.

You would have thought that I'd tried to incite a war with the way eBay reacted! I had my template completed for the first item I wanted to list and big, bold "warning" boxes popped up on my screen telling me that I needed to review my return policy before they'd let me list the item. I'd said in my description that the buyer would need to read my policy information and even provided a link for it. That wasn't good enough. I'd have to fill out a form to make it simple. So I clicked back to fill in the form and they didn't offer anything like what I offer. In my business, photographs and printed materials are not allowed to be returned because it doesn't take a genius to know that some unscrupulous person will just scan it and make all of the copies they want and claim they're originals and sell them. The eBay form had nowhere I could specify that. So, I stated it in the little box they give you for additional information.

Then another pop-up box appeared. It didn't like the fact that I said I wouldn't accept money orders as payment. It also informed me that money orders were no longer allowed as payment through eBay except in certain categories (mostly eBay Motors). It wouldn't let me post my item because I said I wouldn't accept something that it won't allow me to accept in the first place. Ahhh....someone in programming figured out how to make the system recognize words but not the context of them. If I don't have the option to accept money orders checked in the payment box, what difference does it make if I say I won't accept them in the description? But, it wouldn't allow me to list my item until I went back and removed the offending sentence.

Finally, just when I thought I'd get my item listed, the shipping payment information I included caused the largest box to pop-up on the screen. It basically said that the way I phrased my listing by stating that if someone didn't want to pay for something that they shouldn't bid was wrong and I could drive away customers.

Um....that's kind of the point!! If they're not willing to pay extra for the shipping services to ensure that it arrives at their residence/office/deserted island, then I don't want to fool with someone trying to argue with me that they "really want to complete the auction and pay the money due but the shipping is just too expensive and [they] had no idea whatsoever that [I] would charge such an extravagant amount and how dare [I] not know that [they] are always good for their word and that [I] am insulting [them] by not just slapping a stamp on the item or, in [their] opinion, sending it for free." I've gotten so frustrated and people trying to argue about shipping at times I've told them I'll just stick their item in an envelope, put a stamp on it, and wish them the best of luck 'cause what they want to pay isn't going to get their item to them.

The pop-up box continued to chastise me on being "unprofessional" and how it could hurt me from becoming one of their Top Sellers. I don't list enough stuff to be a "Top Seller" and if I was operating a storefront instead of an online business (which I've done), my attitude would be exactly the same. It's not being "unprofessional" -- it's being honest. And, as I said earlier, the customer is not always right.

After over an hour of changing and adding and subtracting things from the listing, it finally let me post my item. All that work for something that's got a starting bid of $5. AND, I got a notice that they're changing the rules/regulations on listing items again May 1st (tomorrow).

I'll wait until the 2nd to list more items, if it will let me. Hopefully they will have made their minds up on what those of us who list our items for sale (and are the ones who've made them successful) will be allowed to do. It's sad when a company gets too big for its britches. Absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Discovery's Mythbusters: Duct Tape Island and Unchained Reaction episode 2

Yeah, I know. I should have posted my reviews last night but I was really busy and the whole fence thing had me miffed. Today it wasn't any better as I found my decorative fencing around my precious morel mushrooms moved (looks like it was kicked), but I digress.

Last night was Discovery Channel's night for the new season of Mythbusters and for the second episode of Unchained Reaction. One was slightly impressive while the other was educational but way too hokey to believe.

I'll start with Mythbusters: Duct Tape Island -- a one-hour episode featuring only Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman as they attempt to survive on a desert island with only duct tape available to them. I had a feeling the show was going to be silly because the announcer said they had "an endless supply" of it. So, if you thought that the small pallet of duct tape that "washed-up" on the beach was all they had, think again. And we all knew that they wouldn't actually be in danger of starving or dehydrating because they had a camera crew with them. It's not like we're watching Survivorman, y'all.

In the intro to the "story," they show the outline of an island. Anyone with basic U.S. geography skills would have immediately recognized the shape as the silhouette of Oahu, one of the Hawaiian Islands. If you need more information, it's the island where Honolulu and Pearl Harbor are located. Oahu is definitely not deserted, but they were able to find a beach resort where they could film their show.

Oh, did I say "resort?" Why, yes I did -- and that's an important thing to remember while reading the rest of this review (remember "Turtle Bay" and Lost).

So, the guys are "stranded" and have to figure out how to signal for help, find water, find food, make clothing, make a shelter, stay focused, and escape from the island. Signaling for help was easy. They created a huge "SOS" sign out of duct tape and rocks on the beach. The down side to their attempt is that duct tape is gray and doesn't reflect well when covered with sand, making it harder for someone overhead to see.

When they attempted to find water, they did stage a good explanation of how you can't drink just any water you find lying around. Jamie (the brains) and Adam (Captain ADD-man) were each given different tasks to find water. Jamie used the shrink-wrap that covered the pallet of duct tape to make a solar still in order to collect water. While it's a good and scientific idea, a solar still would not make enough water for two people in a reasonable amount of time. Evaporation and condensation takes a while and it wasn't a plausible idea for them. Adam, however, did find running fresh water and made a water-bag out of duct tape so he could return with potable water for them to enjoy.

Both of the guys created unique shoes using duct tape which made walking on the hot sand, grasses, and rocks more bearable. Adam even made himself a hat since he is very susceptible to the rays of the sun on his fair skin, and so that people who are used to him wearing his Stetson while Jamie has his iconic beret (which was present) could tell them apart.

As for finding food, Jamie was rather ingenious and successful in spear fishing. He used bamboo and wood shards to create a multi-pronged spear and even added a small duct tape retrieval string and marked the center of balance to make it easier for him to throw. Once he got off the shore and into the water, he actually speared a small fish. True, he'd need a lot more than that to feed both of them, but it was successful and fun to watch. Adam, however, was running around in the jungle after feral chickens. Realizing that he could not catch one on foot, he first tried a simple snare trap with duct tape "wire" (which didn't work) and then made a net out of the duct tape with which to catch a passing chicken. The first chicken "caught" escaped through a hole in the side but the second was successfully captured. Then, Adam made the announcement that the chicken they would be seen eating in a later scene was store-bought and not the chicken he had just caught. The part he didn't explain is that feral chickens are protected as wildlife in Hawaii and cannot be captured without special permits/licenses. And Jamie didn't eat the fish he caught either. Both sat on the beach with their duct tape bag of fried chicken and duct tape platter of raw tuna and discussed how proud they were of their hunting abilities.

Adam created a "permanent camp" out of duct tape with hammocks and even a small table and stools with a duct tape chess set (to help them stay focused). It seemed odd that they'd try to make a "permanent camp" if they were trying to escape from the island, but it's television and if you try to reason it out too much you'll just give yourself a headache. Jamie made himself a surfboard out of duct tape and took it for a quick float in the ocean (he wasn't able to stand up on it). Finally, the guys made an outrigger canoe that surprisingly weighed just over 100 pounds from bamboo and duct tape that carried them and their "6-week supply of rations" out into the ocean. I was impressed that they were able to make it over the breaker waves without the boat twisting or sinking. Jamie even noted that the only water he was having to bail was what Adam was sloshing into the boat with his poor rowing skills. Finally, they "found land" and disembarked their canoe, only to find they were back on the same beach as before (cue comedic sound effects and rimshot).

And why wouldn't they return to the same beach? They never left it. Well, except to sleep and eat and get refreshed before continuing the shooting for each of the seven days they were out there. They did not sleep on their duct tape pads nor in their duct tape hammocks. They stayed at the Turtle Bay Resort with the rest of the crew and used locations that were utilized in the filming of the show Lost. That way, they knew were everything was an how easily to get their inventions built and useable. In one of the outtakes Adam makes a comment that there are too many footprints in the sand for it to be a deserted island. While it was fun to watch, it was quite disappointing to know that they weren't really trying to survive at any point. Sure, they showed how duct tape can work in many ways, but it still took all of the fun out of it. I'm sure they did it that way because the insurance companies wouldn't want Discovery losing two of their biggest stars.

And Discovery has used two of their biggest stars to hawk their new show Unchained Reaction. I'm not sure how much of it really is/isn't Adam and Jamie's idea, but having them introduce the theme, pretending to watch the building of the chain-reaction gags, and then coming out to "judge" and announce the winner doesn't really sell me that it's their idea. I wasn't impressed with the premiere episode, but I thought I'd give the second one a chance.

In the "Fire and Ice" episode, a team of aerospace engineers went up against a team of special effects specialists. They had to use fire and ice in their contraptions and had to have a minimum of five gags that would continuously set off the next as well as be innovative and entertaining. Halfway through the build, Adam and Jamie "gave" each team a compact car that they had to incorporate into the middle of their machine and it all had to be completed within five days.

The aerospace engineers did some really neat things with the fire and ice and showing fire making steam and melted ice (water) conducting electricity after salt was added when it was tripped into a tank. They even got the closest to a Rube Goldberg Machine concept because they stated that they wanted their machine to raise a flag at the end in a miniature moonscape diorama. Sadly, the beginning of their machine didn't work as planned but they did get the flag raised in the end, after nearly hitting Adam and Jamie and special guest judge Adam Sadowsky, president of Syyn Labs and creator of the Rube Goldberg machine for the OK Go video, with a rocket that flew across the room into a refrigerator to trigger the flag.

The special effects team didn't get as technical but were a lot flashier with their contraption. They used fire and ice in their gags as well as melting a huge block of ice in a cauldron of fire to turn a waterwheel underneath it to trigger another gag. They had explosive results and it was a lot of fun to watch. They won the contest because their machine worked and had no issues.

I think what I became the most tired of hearing throughout the show was how they were trying to impress Adam and Jamie. It was always "Adam and Jamie would want" this and "Adam and Jamie think like" that but Adam and Jamie aren't really in the show. I'll probably watch the next episode to see if the third time's the charm on getting me to like it. But at the moment, they could take Adam and Jamie out of it, make it about creating actual Rube Goldberg Machines (that have to complete a specific task) and it would be a lot more fun to watch.

I want another fence

What is it with stupid neighbors who don't understand property lines? The same ones we've been having issues with still haven't removed the concrete they poured almost two years ago that's on our side of the line. They also still haven't moved their bratty kid's tree (which isn't growing very well -- not my fault, I've not touched it).

Yesterday, the gentleman who mows our yard came and made sure that everything looks good for the beginning of spring. We even found some morel mushrooms growing in part of our yard. They're now surrounded by decorative wire fencing so that the stupid neighbors realize that (1) they're ours and (2) to leave them the heck alone. I plan on using them in something nice after they get a little bigger and I don't want their kids coming over and killing them. Our lawn mower even made sure to trim gently around them so they wouldn't be damaged and finished the yard by also making sure to trim around the line of marking string we stretched between the two pins denoting the property line between our house and our stupid neighbors.

Today, the stupid neighbors decided to mow their yard and promptly cut the string. Instead of attempting to repair it or letting us know (it is our string, after all), they threw it away. And, instead of digging-up and moving the little tree, they tried to make it better. Husband finally went out and spoke with Mr. Stupid Neighbor and informed him that we had agreed that when spring arrived, everything would be moved/removed/etc. so that we can expand our driveway to our property line as planned. Mr. Stupid Neighbor thought for some strange reason that we were going to sell him the strip of land his concrete is over the line and where the kid's tree is. He wants us to sell it to him because his property line on the other side of his house is actually inside the house on the other side of his. He never bothered to have a survey done and never knew that he bought a crappy plot of land.

Husband explained that we were not going to sell the strip of land and Mr. Stupid Neighbor said everything would be gone within the week. We'll see. But after their conversation, the bratty kids came out and were playing baseball, using our new fence as a backstop. And they nearly tripped over the metal "fencing" I placed around my mushrooms.

Maybe I can save enough money to have another fence built on our side of the line from where our privacy fence ends all the way to the pin at the front of the house (it marks the easement of the curb owned by the City). It wouldn't be a big fence. Just something nice and decorative. Something that wouldn't block anyone's view if they're pulling out of the driveway. Something that would give the stupid neighbors the idea that we take our land/house ownership seriously and don't want their kids or friends or vehicles or dogs in our yard unless we invite them.

And I don't see that happening anytime soon.

I have a stupidphone and I'm not afraid to use it!

I was sitting here staring at the screen just begging my brain to come up with something worth blogging about. Husband suggested politics. I quickly shot that down because everyone's blogging about it. Youngest Son said I should write about not being able to think of a subject. I've already done that one this month. And then, it happened.

The "incoming message" tone on my cellphone rang. I looked at the screen and saw that it was from Biological Mother. I opened the message and there was a teeny-tiny photo of some sort that even if I had 20/20 vision I'd still not be able to see it. I sent a message back to her stating that I couldn't see the photo and reminding her that my cellphone isn't like hers. She replied that it was a photo from PeopleOfWalmart.com and that she thought my phone could show any photo she sent. I had to text her back to explain (for the I-don't-know-how-many-th time) that my phone doesn't work like hers and I can see photos she takes and sends but not something forwarded from the Internet. I sat my cellphone down and started to get comfy on the couch before it rang and vibrated again -- only to show her incoming message of "OK."

Gah!!! I hate that!!! I really used to hate that when I had to pay for every message I sent or received and she would send "OK" or "K" after anything I texted to her. I would tell her that her little ending notes were costing me money, but she'd only remember that for a few minutes and I'd get tons more messages. When we had a horrendous ice storm in January 2009, we lost power and in order to save our batteries I sent a text to family members that we were fine and would only call or text if something important happened. I lost track of the number of texts Biological Mother sent asking questions about things that didn't mean diddly-squat when we were trying to keep ourselves from freezing.

And she's not the only one in my family who does that. Half-Sister does it too. She and our mutual mother have a thing about wanting to send stuff by text. As a matter of fact, while I've been trying to type this far into this post, Half-Sister has already attempted to forward the same thing to me.

Both of them have smartphones. You know what those are, right? The cellphones that can do all of the neat photos and videos. They run applications that are useful, entertaining, and occasionally both. People have been known to line-up outside of stores for days or weeks waiting for the latest and greatest to be released. Some even now will talk back to you if you ask it a question. I guess that's good for those who are too enamored by their techno-gadgets to have relationships with real people. And Biological Mother and Half-Sister have both, at one time or another, offered to "give" me one of theirs that was being replaced by a newer model.

I have a stupidphone. You've probably never heard of one of those. Actually, if you've ever had a cellphone prior to the days of touchscreens and voice recognition, you've had a stupidphone too. These are the ones that allow their owners to place calls, take a photo, or even send a text message. But not all at the same time and certainly not with any great fanfare about it. I do not have an unlimited data plan or worry about how many bits/bytes of memory I've sent over the airwaves each month because I can't do those things. I have unlimited texting, but that's because it's a family plan and when you have Youngest Son receiving messages from his friends who also cannot remember that you have to pay for every message, it gets expensive.

Another reason I have a stupidphone is because I can think of many, MANY other things I'd rather spend my hard-earned cash on instead of a piece of plastic that will scratch or break easily and the "privilege" of using it by paying outrageous phone charges along with the basic plan and taxes. I don't Titterbook or Fweet on my phone and as a serious sufferer of ADD, I don't need something like that distracting me.

I'm not a technophobe. I try to stay as up-to-date as I can. But I'm not going to bankrupt myself and my family to fling birds across a screen.

Now that I've spent over an hour trying to type this while still having to send texts back to the two of them explaining why my phone doesn't do what theirs does, I'm going to end my post, put my phone back on the charger, and maybe watch a movie or two. It's Friday night -- gotta have some fun sometime!