Teenagers. They think they know it all. They think that they're the first person to ever think of or do something in the history of everything. They believe they're invincible, physically and emotionally, and that they can do what they want, when they want, how they want, and that parents will never know the difference.
They're wrong, of course. Dead wrong. Really wrong. Absolutely wrong. Hysterically wrong, even.
And just as I was about to post on my blog that nothing of any interest happened today other than hours and hours of rain, thunder, and lightning, I saw it. I went to my Facebook account to see what my family/friends have been up to over the past few hours and enjoy some pleasant entertainment. Little did I know that I would be seeing things -- suggestive photos, offensive phrases, etc. -- in my news feed. Not from my adult friends, but from Youngest Son.
I loudly yelled for him to come into where the family computer is and asked him what in his little head thought that posting or liking these items was appropriate. He denied clicking on one but said that the second photo was funny. He'd only looked at the top of the photo and didn't see the graphic imagery in the bottom. He also had "liked" a page about a cartoon character that I reviewed and found every-other post had something offensive, or at least inappropriate for a teenager, in them. And this wasn't for a cartoon character designed for adults (i.e. Family Guy, The Simpsons, anything from "Adult Swim," etc.). This was for a kids' cartoon show -- so obviously this was not an authorized page.
He'd finally earned between 5 and 10 minutes of Internet time to check his emails and Facebook page without us having to stand directly over him. Guess what's happened to that?
I made sure to post on his page using his account (since I don't allow my children to have Internet accounts for which I don't have password access) so that all of his "friends" would see the new rules. Any future inappropriate posts by him will be deleted and any inappropriate posts to his page by his "friends" will be deleted and reported to Facebook. And the "friendship" just might be terminated as well.
I respect his privacy as a person by allowing him to do those things which need to be done in private behind closed doors (bathing, dressing, etc.). But, as his parent, I assert my ability to check on anything he has or brings into the house to ensure that it is deemed appropriate for a teenager and not something that we do not allow. That includes anything "brought into" the house via the Internet. My house; my rules. And his older brother can attest to the fact that those rules are absolute -- he got caught a few times with inappropriate items and faced consequences for it. As long as someone is residing in my house without paying rent, their share of the utilities, and insurance, I get to see everything. And with Husband having previously worked at one of our state's penitentiaries, he's very good at quickly turning-out a room to make sure nothing is hidden.
Eldest Son has tried many times to warn Youngest Son about how things are going to be as he grows up. With the 10-year difference in their ages, Eldest Son knows what Youngest Son will be facing in school with friends and enemies alike. He's tried and tried to warn Youngest Son that "Mom isn't stupid! She will find out! And your dad will too and if he finds out first he won't hide it from Mom!"
Poor, poor Youngest Son. He thinks he's so mature. He has no idea just how much more maturing he's still got to do. And he'll be doing it without the company of a lot of friends if he doesn't straighten his act up now.
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Teen drama isn't just for girls....
I have always been very happy that I have two sons. Don't get me wrong, if I'd had a daughter, I'd love her just as much as I do my boys. But, having been raised basically as a boy (Biological Father always wanted a son and I'm the only child he's ever had), I'm not sure I'd know what to do with a girl. I'm not into Barbie and makeup and dresses. I don't watch fashion shows or keep up with the latest dreamboat boy bands. I'm much more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than I am a skirt or even capris or shorts. The only dresses I own are my wedding dress (which no longer fits) and a costume I bought for Halloween one year that's just too awesome to get rid of.
I remember in school that Valentine's Day was always a big issue. You either got a card or candy because everyone else did or you got a flower/balloon/etc. because your boyfriend/girlfriend/parents sent you something. And the ones who usually got something from their parents were mortified for at least a week. If you didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you got nothing and you went on about your day. If you did get something, you loved hearing your name called over the intercom with the other "blessed" members of your school who would all be mobbed in the office by everyone else who wanted to see which person got the biggest gift.
Or, occasionally, you'd be told you had a gift waiting -- perhaps a balloon or candy sold from one of the school's clubs as a fundraiser -- only to find that you did have something but it was "sent" from someone who actually didn't send you anything. And when you went to thank them for the nice gesture, they would laugh and make fun of the fact that you'd believe they'd actually take the time to send you something, much less pay for anything. I fell victim to that a few times. It didn't help with Biological Father being my school's principal from the time I was in 2nd grade until 8th grade. Then he became an administrator and that was even worse. I always felt bad when I saw it happen to others because I personally knew what they were going through and usually could figure out who'd been the person to pull the prank (especially since he/she usually couldn't keep their mouth shut about it).
The same thing happened this year to Youngest Son. He received a Valentine from one of the school clubs' fundraisers signed with the name of a boy that he hangs-out with in a group before school. Youngest Son told me that evening he thought it was creepy and even posted it on Facebook. I lectured him on how rude that was, especially since the boy was a friend of his through Facebook as well and could read the post. I told him that if someone had the time and thoughtfulness to remember him on Valentine's Day that he should just be thankful.
I was so furious at how insensitive he was at having received a card with a Hershey's Kiss from a male classmate that I went into maximum rant-drive. I told him that perhaps the boy felt that Youngest Son was a good friend and wanted to show his appreciation. I told him that maybe the boy had sent them to all of the guys that hang-out together as a friend. I then explained that maybe he felt that Youngest Son was his only friend and that reading on Facebook that it was "creepy" would be so hurtful that perhaps the boy might become depressed. I explained that maybe this boy had feelings for Youngest Son and the last thing he needed was to be made fun of by Youngest Son and his "friends" and asked how he would feel if the boy didn't return to school the next day. I also asked how he'd feel if the boy who might have been one that was picked-on by many others felt this was the last straw and never came back to school because he'd committed suicide. I also told him that it could, possibly, just be a prank by someone with nothing better to do with their time to try to embarrass this boy and make Youngest Son the newest accomplice (having experienced that myself).
Youngest Son went online and deleted the post but I reminded him that anyone could have shared it and started spreading rumors. Even one of his "friends" posted in the comments: "Gee, I didn't think your door swung that way!" Whether that "friend" was just trying to be funny (and failed) or really believes that Youngest Son feels that way is irrelevant. It's a small town with a lot of closed-minded people who don't take kindly to people who think and feel differently than the "normal" folk do. I told him the best thing to do would be to approach the boy the next morning at school and simply say "Thank you for thinking about me" and leave it at that.
Well, after school today, Youngest Son told me what he did. He went to the boy and said thank you for the card and candy. The boy said that he had been confused the evening before because he had received a card and candy addressed to him with Youngest Son's name as the sender. They both realized together -- they were the victims of a poorly thought out prank. Someone was trying to make them both look "bad" and get rumors started. Both boys agreed that they weren't going to fall into the "trap" that was laid for them and that they'd both enjoy the candy they didn't have to pay for and would still be friends and hang-out in the mornings with the rest of their group. No hard feelings and just laughter at whomever wasted their time and money on the trick. They even told their friends what had happened and all of the other guys and girls thought it was funny that they figured out they'd been "pranked" and laughed that someone would be insensitive and silly enough to try it. The group is still together and Youngest Son is even having a few (guys only, of course) over this weekend for a Star Wars marathon. I still can't believe that these are some of the smartest kids in the school and many STILL haven't seen the original trilogy!! How can that be??
Anyway, at least Youngest Son learned a valuable lesson. He needs to think before he posts and be much more sensitive of other people's feelings. The world has changed and bullying doesn't just happen on the schoolyard anymore. I hope this lesson sticks with him for a long time 'cause I know high school won't be any easier.
I remember in school that Valentine's Day was always a big issue. You either got a card or candy because everyone else did or you got a flower/balloon/etc. because your boyfriend/girlfriend/parents sent you something. And the ones who usually got something from their parents were mortified for at least a week. If you didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you got nothing and you went on about your day. If you did get something, you loved hearing your name called over the intercom with the other "blessed" members of your school who would all be mobbed in the office by everyone else who wanted to see which person got the biggest gift.
Or, occasionally, you'd be told you had a gift waiting -- perhaps a balloon or candy sold from one of the school's clubs as a fundraiser -- only to find that you did have something but it was "sent" from someone who actually didn't send you anything. And when you went to thank them for the nice gesture, they would laugh and make fun of the fact that you'd believe they'd actually take the time to send you something, much less pay for anything. I fell victim to that a few times. It didn't help with Biological Father being my school's principal from the time I was in 2nd grade until 8th grade. Then he became an administrator and that was even worse. I always felt bad when I saw it happen to others because I personally knew what they were going through and usually could figure out who'd been the person to pull the prank (especially since he/she usually couldn't keep their mouth shut about it).
The same thing happened this year to Youngest Son. He received a Valentine from one of the school clubs' fundraisers signed with the name of a boy that he hangs-out with in a group before school. Youngest Son told me that evening he thought it was creepy and even posted it on Facebook. I lectured him on how rude that was, especially since the boy was a friend of his through Facebook as well and could read the post. I told him that if someone had the time and thoughtfulness to remember him on Valentine's Day that he should just be thankful.
I was so furious at how insensitive he was at having received a card with a Hershey's Kiss from a male classmate that I went into maximum rant-drive. I told him that perhaps the boy felt that Youngest Son was a good friend and wanted to show his appreciation. I told him that maybe the boy had sent them to all of the guys that hang-out together as a friend. I then explained that maybe he felt that Youngest Son was his only friend and that reading on Facebook that it was "creepy" would be so hurtful that perhaps the boy might become depressed. I explained that maybe this boy had feelings for Youngest Son and the last thing he needed was to be made fun of by Youngest Son and his "friends" and asked how he would feel if the boy didn't return to school the next day. I also asked how he'd feel if the boy who might have been one that was picked-on by many others felt this was the last straw and never came back to school because he'd committed suicide. I also told him that it could, possibly, just be a prank by someone with nothing better to do with their time to try to embarrass this boy and make Youngest Son the newest accomplice (having experienced that myself).
Youngest Son went online and deleted the post but I reminded him that anyone could have shared it and started spreading rumors. Even one of his "friends" posted in the comments: "Gee, I didn't think your door swung that way!" Whether that "friend" was just trying to be funny (and failed) or really believes that Youngest Son feels that way is irrelevant. It's a small town with a lot of closed-minded people who don't take kindly to people who think and feel differently than the "normal" folk do. I told him the best thing to do would be to approach the boy the next morning at school and simply say "Thank you for thinking about me" and leave it at that.
Well, after school today, Youngest Son told me what he did. He went to the boy and said thank you for the card and candy. The boy said that he had been confused the evening before because he had received a card and candy addressed to him with Youngest Son's name as the sender. They both realized together -- they were the victims of a poorly thought out prank. Someone was trying to make them both look "bad" and get rumors started. Both boys agreed that they weren't going to fall into the "trap" that was laid for them and that they'd both enjoy the candy they didn't have to pay for and would still be friends and hang-out in the mornings with the rest of their group. No hard feelings and just laughter at whomever wasted their time and money on the trick. They even told their friends what had happened and all of the other guys and girls thought it was funny that they figured out they'd been "pranked" and laughed that someone would be insensitive and silly enough to try it. The group is still together and Youngest Son is even having a few (guys only, of course) over this weekend for a Star Wars marathon. I still can't believe that these are some of the smartest kids in the school and many STILL haven't seen the original trilogy!! How can that be??
Anyway, at least Youngest Son learned a valuable lesson. He needs to think before he posts and be much more sensitive of other people's feelings. The world has changed and bullying doesn't just happen on the schoolyard anymore. I hope this lesson sticks with him for a long time 'cause I know high school won't be any easier.
Friday, January 27, 2012
I have a stupidphone and I'm not afraid to use it!
I was sitting here staring at the screen just begging my brain to come up with something worth blogging about. Husband suggested politics. I quickly shot that down because everyone's blogging about it. Youngest Son said I should write about not being able to think of a subject. I've already done that one this month. And then, it happened.
The "incoming message" tone on my cellphone rang. I looked at the screen and saw that it was from Biological Mother. I opened the message and there was a teeny-tiny photo of some sort that even if I had 20/20 vision I'd still not be able to see it. I sent a message back to her stating that I couldn't see the photo and reminding her that my cellphone isn't like hers. She replied that it was a photo from PeopleOfWalmart.com and that she thought my phone could show any photo she sent. I had to text her back to explain (for the I-don't-know-how-many-th time) that my phone doesn't work like hers and I can see photos she takes and sends but not something forwarded from the Internet. I sat my cellphone down and started to get comfy on the couch before it rang and vibrated again -- only to show her incoming message of "OK."
Gah!!! I hate that!!! I really used to hate that when I had to pay for every message I sent or received and she would send "OK" or "K" after anything I texted to her. I would tell her that her little ending notes were costing me money, but she'd only remember that for a few minutes and I'd get tons more messages. When we had a horrendous ice storm in January 2009, we lost power and in order to save our batteries I sent a text to family members that we were fine and would only call or text if something important happened. I lost track of the number of texts Biological Mother sent asking questions about things that didn't mean diddly-squat when we were trying to keep ourselves from freezing.
And she's not the only one in my family who does that. Half-Sister does it too. She and our mutual mother have a thing about wanting to send stuff by text. As a matter of fact, while I've been trying to type this far into this post, Half-Sister has already attempted to forward the same thing to me.
Both of them have smartphones. You know what those are, right? The cellphones that can do all of the neat photos and videos. They run applications that are useful, entertaining, and occasionally both. People have been known to line-up outside of stores for days or weeks waiting for the latest and greatest to be released. Some even now will talk back to you if you ask it a question. I guess that's good for those who are too enamored by their techno-gadgets to have relationships with real people. And Biological Mother and Half-Sister have both, at one time or another, offered to "give" me one of theirs that was being replaced by a newer model.
I have a stupidphone. You've probably never heard of one of those. Actually, if you've ever had a cellphone prior to the days of touchscreens and voice recognition, you've had a stupidphone too. These are the ones that allow their owners to place calls, take a photo, or even send a text message. But not all at the same time and certainly not with any great fanfare about it. I do not have an unlimited data plan or worry about how many bits/bytes of memory I've sent over the airwaves each month because I can't do those things. I have unlimited texting, but that's because it's a family plan and when you have Youngest Son receiving messages from his friends who also cannot remember that you have to pay for every message, it gets expensive.
Another reason I have a stupidphone is because I can think of many, MANY other things I'd rather spend my hard-earned cash on instead of a piece of plastic that will scratch or break easily and the "privilege" of using it by paying outrageous phone charges along with the basic plan and taxes. I don't Titterbook or Fweet on my phone and as a serious sufferer of ADD, I don't need something like that distracting me.
I'm not a technophobe. I try to stay as up-to-date as I can. But I'm not going to bankrupt myself and my family to fling birds across a screen.
Now that I've spent over an hour trying to type this while still having to send texts back to the two of them explaining why my phone doesn't do what theirs does, I'm going to end my post, put my phone back on the charger, and maybe watch a movie or two. It's Friday night -- gotta have some fun sometime!
The "incoming message" tone on my cellphone rang. I looked at the screen and saw that it was from Biological Mother. I opened the message and there was a teeny-tiny photo of some sort that even if I had 20/20 vision I'd still not be able to see it. I sent a message back to her stating that I couldn't see the photo and reminding her that my cellphone isn't like hers. She replied that it was a photo from PeopleOfWalmart.com and that she thought my phone could show any photo she sent. I had to text her back to explain (for the I-don't-know-how-many-th time) that my phone doesn't work like hers and I can see photos she takes and sends but not something forwarded from the Internet. I sat my cellphone down and started to get comfy on the couch before it rang and vibrated again -- only to show her incoming message of "OK."
Gah!!! I hate that!!! I really used to hate that when I had to pay for every message I sent or received and she would send "OK" or "K" after anything I texted to her. I would tell her that her little ending notes were costing me money, but she'd only remember that for a few minutes and I'd get tons more messages. When we had a horrendous ice storm in January 2009, we lost power and in order to save our batteries I sent a text to family members that we were fine and would only call or text if something important happened. I lost track of the number of texts Biological Mother sent asking questions about things that didn't mean diddly-squat when we were trying to keep ourselves from freezing.
And she's not the only one in my family who does that. Half-Sister does it too. She and our mutual mother have a thing about wanting to send stuff by text. As a matter of fact, while I've been trying to type this far into this post, Half-Sister has already attempted to forward the same thing to me.
Both of them have smartphones. You know what those are, right? The cellphones that can do all of the neat photos and videos. They run applications that are useful, entertaining, and occasionally both. People have been known to line-up outside of stores for days or weeks waiting for the latest and greatest to be released. Some even now will talk back to you if you ask it a question. I guess that's good for those who are too enamored by their techno-gadgets to have relationships with real people. And Biological Mother and Half-Sister have both, at one time or another, offered to "give" me one of theirs that was being replaced by a newer model.
I have a stupidphone. You've probably never heard of one of those. Actually, if you've ever had a cellphone prior to the days of touchscreens and voice recognition, you've had a stupidphone too. These are the ones that allow their owners to place calls, take a photo, or even send a text message. But not all at the same time and certainly not with any great fanfare about it. I do not have an unlimited data plan or worry about how many bits/bytes of memory I've sent over the airwaves each month because I can't do those things. I have unlimited texting, but that's because it's a family plan and when you have Youngest Son receiving messages from his friends who also cannot remember that you have to pay for every message, it gets expensive.
Another reason I have a stupidphone is because I can think of many, MANY other things I'd rather spend my hard-earned cash on instead of a piece of plastic that will scratch or break easily and the "privilege" of using it by paying outrageous phone charges along with the basic plan and taxes. I don't Titterbook or Fweet on my phone and as a serious sufferer of ADD, I don't need something like that distracting me.
I'm not a technophobe. I try to stay as up-to-date as I can. But I'm not going to bankrupt myself and my family to fling birds across a screen.
Now that I've spent over an hour trying to type this while still having to send texts back to the two of them explaining why my phone doesn't do what theirs does, I'm going to end my post, put my phone back on the charger, and maybe watch a movie or two. It's Friday night -- gotta have some fun sometime!
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