I have always been very happy that I have two sons. Don't get me wrong, if I'd had a daughter, I'd love her just as much as I do my boys. But, having been raised basically as a boy (Biological Father always wanted a son and I'm the only child he's ever had), I'm not sure I'd know what to do with a girl. I'm not into Barbie and makeup and dresses. I don't watch fashion shows or keep up with the latest dreamboat boy bands. I'm much more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt than I am a skirt or even capris or shorts. The only dresses I own are my wedding dress (which no longer fits) and a costume I bought for Halloween one year that's just too awesome to get rid of.
I remember in school that Valentine's Day was always a big issue. You either got a card or candy because everyone else did or you got a flower/balloon/etc. because your boyfriend/girlfriend/parents sent you something. And the ones who usually got something from their parents were mortified for at least a week. If you didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend, you got nothing and you went on about your day. If you did get something, you loved hearing your name called over the intercom with the other "blessed" members of your school who would all be mobbed in the office by everyone else who wanted to see which person got the biggest gift.
Or, occasionally, you'd be told you had a gift waiting -- perhaps a balloon or candy sold from one of the school's clubs as a fundraiser -- only to find that you did have something but it was "sent" from someone who actually didn't send you anything. And when you went to thank them for the nice gesture, they would laugh and make fun of the fact that you'd believe they'd actually take the time to send you something, much less pay for anything. I fell victim to that a few times. It didn't help with Biological Father being my school's principal from the time I was in 2nd grade until 8th grade. Then he became an administrator and that was even worse. I always felt bad when I saw it happen to others because I personally knew what they were going through and usually could figure out who'd been the person to pull the prank (especially since he/she usually couldn't keep their mouth shut about it).
The same thing happened this year to Youngest Son. He received a Valentine from one of the school clubs' fundraisers signed with the name of a boy that he hangs-out with in a group before school. Youngest Son told me that evening he thought it was creepy and even posted it on Facebook. I lectured him on how rude that was, especially since the boy was a friend of his through Facebook as well and could read the post. I told him that if someone had the time and thoughtfulness to remember him on Valentine's Day that he should just be thankful.
I was so furious at how insensitive he was at having received a card with a Hershey's Kiss from a male classmate that I went into maximum rant-drive. I told him that perhaps the boy felt that Youngest Son was a good friend and wanted to show his appreciation. I told him that maybe the boy had sent them to all of the guys that hang-out together as a friend. I then explained that maybe he felt that Youngest Son was his only friend and that reading on Facebook that it was "creepy" would be so hurtful that perhaps the boy might become depressed. I explained that maybe this boy had feelings for Youngest Son and the last thing he needed was to be made fun of by Youngest Son and his "friends" and asked how he would feel if the boy didn't return to school the next day. I also asked how he'd feel if the boy who might have been one that was picked-on by many others felt this was the last straw and never came back to school because he'd committed suicide. I also told him that it could, possibly, just be a prank by someone with nothing better to do with their time to try to embarrass this boy and make Youngest Son the newest accomplice (having experienced that myself).
Youngest Son went online and deleted the post but I reminded him that anyone could have shared it and started spreading rumors. Even one of his "friends" posted in the comments: "Gee, I didn't think your door swung that way!" Whether that "friend" was just trying to be funny (and failed) or really believes that Youngest Son feels that way is irrelevant. It's a small town with a lot of closed-minded people who don't take kindly to people who think and feel differently than the "normal" folk do. I told him the best thing to do would be to approach the boy the next morning at school and simply say "Thank you for thinking about me" and leave it at that.
Well, after school today, Youngest Son told me what he did. He went to the boy and said thank you for the card and candy. The boy said that he had been confused the evening before because he had received a card and candy addressed to him with Youngest Son's name as the sender. They both realized together -- they were the victims of a poorly thought out prank. Someone was trying to make them both look "bad" and get rumors started. Both boys agreed that they weren't going to fall into the "trap" that was laid for them and that they'd both enjoy the candy they didn't have to pay for and would still be friends and hang-out in the mornings with the rest of their group. No hard feelings and just laughter at whomever wasted their time and money on the trick. They even told their friends what had happened and all of the other guys and girls thought it was funny that they figured out they'd been "pranked" and laughed that someone would be insensitive and silly enough to try it. The group is still together and Youngest Son is even having a few (guys only, of course) over this weekend for a Star Wars marathon. I still can't believe that these are some of the smartest kids in the school and many STILL haven't seen the original trilogy!! How can that be??
Anyway, at least Youngest Son learned a valuable lesson. He needs to think before he posts and be much more sensitive of other people's feelings. The world has changed and bullying doesn't just happen on the schoolyard anymore. I hope this lesson sticks with him for a long time 'cause I know high school won't be any easier.
Showing posts with label candy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label candy. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
My obligatory Valentine's Day blog post
February 14th -- known 'round the world as "St. Valentine's Day" or just "Valentine's Day" if you refuse to put the religious part towards it. Actually, it's no longer a "religious holiday" since the Catholic church removed it from the "official calendar" in 1969 (what an odd year to do that). In fact, it wasn't really a Catholic celebration first.
Arcadian Lykaia (for the Greeks) or Lupercalia (for the pre-Romans) was a cleansing festival to release the purity, health and fertility of a city and its inhabitants. There is debate whether it was a Greek or a Roman celebration first, but seeing how the Romans throughout history basically stole their history from the Greeks, we'll say the Greeks get the praise on this one. It was a celebration to the Greek god Pan (or the Roman equivalent Faunus) and goats and dogs were sacrificed while salt mealcakes were burned by Vestal Virgins. I don't have a goat; my dogs will NOT be sacrificed; and it's pretty darned hard to find a Vestal Virgin around these parts -- so we'll just go back to the more modern version of the holiday.
If you ask most anyone why Valentine's Day is celebrated, those who believe they know their history will say it's because Saint Valentine was beheaded on February 14th. Problem is, which Saint Valentine? There's Saint Valentine of Rome and Saint Valentine of Terni. There is also record of another Valentine who was martyred in Africa but not much information is known about him. True, Saint Valentine of Rome's skull is still venerated by many and crowned with flowers while on exhibit at the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome. Saint Valentine of Terni is also buried on the Via Flaminia but not close to Saint Valentine of Rome. Who knows what kinds of arguments might break out if they were close together.
The legend continues that Saint Valentine (it's not noted which one) was arrested by Roman Emperor Claudius II who attempted to convert Valentine to Roman paganism. Valentine refused, even though he was told he would be put to death if he did not convert, and attempted to convert Claudius II to Christianity. As he was being held in prison, awaiting his execution, Valentine supposedly became enchanted with the jailer's blind daughter. The story ends with either Valentine leaving a love letter that he wrote the evening before his execution to the blind daughter professing his undying love (thus, the first "Valentine") or that Valentine cured the jailer's daughter of her blindness before being beheaded. Either way, his head was lopped-off and it still baffles me why we don't get boxes of little chocolate decapitated heads full of chewy goodness instead of the giant heart-shaped things.
However, the heart-shaped things were introduced into the holiday because of the possible love that Saint Valentine may or may not have had for the blind girl. The first reference of love in connection with Valentine's Day most likely came from Geoffrey Chaucer's poem Parlement of Foules, written to commemorate the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II to Anne of Bohemia. Because Chaucer refers to Valentine's Day in the poem, many believed that he was writing about February 14th. A little-known fact (unless you're an English major like me and had to read Chaucer whether you liked it or not) is that Chaucer may have been referring to May 2nd, a celebration in the liturgical calendar of Valentine of Genoa. You could have guessed that religion would have crept back in even if the original Valentine story wasn't true. There may have been other writers who referred to February 14th and Valentine's Day in their work, but dating medieval writings can be difficult and Chaucer is pretty well-known (for good or for bad) so I'm sticking with this version. And it would make sense that Chaucer was referring to May 2nd because he spoke of birds seeking their mates and, even back in the 14th century, February was a little early and cold for birds to be thinking of mating. But if this is the true version, then I guess we should be biting the heads off of small candy birds. I do that with Peeps around another religious/pagan spring festival, but I digress.
So, where does it all come from? We know the popular tradition of giving cards was done as a marketing ploy which makes publishers large sums of cash every February as people panic for something to send so they're not picked-out as the one who forgot what holiday it was. And of course florists jump-in with the flowers and candy and balloons which makes Valentine's Day their equivalent of Black Friday for the year (at least until Mothers' Day comes along). Kids in American schools are either (1) required to purchase little cards that they can exchange with EVERY member of their class to show that they "want to be their Valentine" or (2) are forbidden to bring ANY cards, candy, etc. to school to share with their classmates for fear that someone might be forgotten, someone might get their feelings hurt, someone will think it's a religious holiday, or because someone has a peanut allergy. And, yes, I know that paper cards don't have peanuts in them, but the person addressing the cards might have been munching on peanuts while writing their little name on the card or, more likely, the wealthier parents who want to show their child has more and attempts to "buy" the favor of his/her classmates by attaching large bags of candy to the card which could have peanuts. It's a vicious cycle.
The only St. Valentine's "celebration" I can think of that won't offend anyone religiously or cause them anaphylaxis is commemorating the St. Valentine's Day Massacre of 1929. For those who don't know their history on this subject, I'll make it brief 'cause otherwise I could do a huge post on this event alone.
On February 14, 1929, members of Al Capone's South Side Italian gang waited across the street from 2122 North Clark Street in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago. They were waiting for Capone's rival gang boss, George "Bugs" Moran, who led the North Side Irish gang, to arrive at that address. Moran had been lured there supposedly with the promise of cut-rate whiskey from Detroit's Purple Gang, friends of Al Capone. Capone wanted revenge for prior killings by Moran's gang and only wanted Moran targeted in this hit, not the entire North Side gang. Moran's men had arrived at the garage early that morning but Moran and one of his assistants was running late. When Moran arrived behind the garage, he saw a police car arrive and decided to wait elsewhere.
What Moran didn't know was that the police car was there as part of Capone's plan for his associates to escape. Capone had hired hitmen from outside the Chicago area so that Moran wouldn't be able to recognize them. Two of the men wore police uniforms and entered the garage as if conducting a raid. The five members of Moran's gang and two associates were lined-up against the brick wall as if they were to be searched. As the men were facing the rear wall of the garage, two more of Capone's men entered and the four hitmen, using two Thompson submachine guns and two shotguns, murdered the men inside and then escaped by having the "police officers" escort the other two men to the waiting police cars. Witnesses told the police that they saw policemen leaving the area with two men "in custody."
It wasn't until Highball, a German Shepherd owned by one of the victims, began barking and howling that anyone came to look inside the garage. Highball and Frank Gusenberg, who despite being shot fourteen times refused to say anything about the killers before dying three hours later, were the only two survivors. Photos of the gruesome aftermath were posted in newspapers around the country.
The infamous wall from 2122 North Clark Street (minus a few dozen bricks sold over the years by its previous owner) is now on display at the Las Vegas Mob Museum, so I guess if you want something non-traditional for your Valentine, you can take them there.
Me? Maybe I'll take the Thompson into the garage and fire a few blank rounds towars the brick walls in commemoration. It's less fattening than chocolate; it won't die like cut flowers; and it's a tradition I can do every February 14th.
Arcadian Lykaia (for the Greeks) or Lupercalia (for the pre-Romans) was a cleansing festival to release the purity, health and fertility of a city and its inhabitants. There is debate whether it was a Greek or a Roman celebration first, but seeing how the Romans throughout history basically stole their history from the Greeks, we'll say the Greeks get the praise on this one. It was a celebration to the Greek god Pan (or the Roman equivalent Faunus) and goats and dogs were sacrificed while salt mealcakes were burned by Vestal Virgins. I don't have a goat; my dogs will NOT be sacrificed; and it's pretty darned hard to find a Vestal Virgin around these parts -- so we'll just go back to the more modern version of the holiday.
If you ask most anyone why Valentine's Day is celebrated, those who believe they know their history will say it's because Saint Valentine was beheaded on February 14th. Problem is, which Saint Valentine? There's Saint Valentine of Rome and Saint Valentine of Terni. There is also record of another Valentine who was martyred in Africa but not much information is known about him. True, Saint Valentine of Rome's skull is still venerated by many and crowned with flowers while on exhibit at the Basilica of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, Rome. Saint Valentine of Terni is also buried on the Via Flaminia but not close to Saint Valentine of Rome. Who knows what kinds of arguments might break out if they were close together.
The legend continues that Saint Valentine (it's not noted which one) was arrested by Roman Emperor Claudius II who attempted to convert Valentine to Roman paganism. Valentine refused, even though he was told he would be put to death if he did not convert, and attempted to convert Claudius II to Christianity. As he was being held in prison, awaiting his execution, Valentine supposedly became enchanted with the jailer's blind daughter. The story ends with either Valentine leaving a love letter that he wrote the evening before his execution to the blind daughter professing his undying love (thus, the first "Valentine") or that Valentine cured the jailer's daughter of her blindness before being beheaded. Either way, his head was lopped-off and it still baffles me why we don't get boxes of little chocolate decapitated heads full of chewy goodness instead of the giant heart-shaped things.
However, the heart-shaped things were introduced into the holiday because of the possible love that Saint Valentine may or may not have had for the blind girl. The first reference of love in connection with Valentine's Day most likely came from Geoffrey Chaucer's poem Parlement of Foules, written to commemorate the first anniversary of the engagement of King Richard II to Anne of Bohemia. Because Chaucer refers to Valentine's Day in the poem, many believed that he was writing about February 14th. A little-known fact (unless you're an English major like me and had to read Chaucer whether you liked it or not) is that Chaucer may have been referring to May 2nd, a celebration in the liturgical calendar of Valentine of Genoa. You could have guessed that religion would have crept back in even if the original Valentine story wasn't true. There may have been other writers who referred to February 14th and Valentine's Day in their work, but dating medieval writings can be difficult and Chaucer is pretty well-known (for good or for bad) so I'm sticking with this version. And it would make sense that Chaucer was referring to May 2nd because he spoke of birds seeking their mates and, even back in the 14th century, February was a little early and cold for birds to be thinking of mating. But if this is the true version, then I guess we should be biting the heads off of small candy birds. I do that with Peeps around another religious/pagan spring festival, but I digress.
So, where does it all come from? We know the popular tradition of giving cards was done as a marketing ploy which makes publishers large sums of cash every February as people panic for something to send so they're not picked-out as the one who forgot what holiday it was. And of course florists jump-in with the flowers and candy and balloons which makes Valentine's Day their equivalent of Black Friday for the year (at least until Mothers' Day comes along). Kids in American schools are either (1) required to purchase little cards that they can exchange with EVERY member of their class to show that they "want to be their Valentine" or (2) are forbidden to bring ANY cards, candy, etc. to school to share with their classmates for fear that someone might be forgotten, someone might get their feelings hurt, someone will think it's a religious holiday, or because someone has a peanut allergy. And, yes, I know that paper cards don't have peanuts in them, but the person addressing the cards might have been munching on peanuts while writing their little name on the card or, more likely, the wealthier parents who want to show their child has more and attempts to "buy" the favor of his/her classmates by attaching large bags of candy to the card which could have peanuts. It's a vicious cycle.
The only St. Valentine's "celebration" I can think of that won't offend anyone religiously or cause them anaphylaxis is commemorating the St. Valentine's Day Massacre of 1929. For those who don't know their history on this subject, I'll make it brief 'cause otherwise I could do a huge post on this event alone.
On February 14, 1929, members of Al Capone's South Side Italian gang waited across the street from 2122 North Clark Street in the Lincoln Park area of Chicago. They were waiting for Capone's rival gang boss, George "Bugs" Moran, who led the North Side Irish gang, to arrive at that address. Moran had been lured there supposedly with the promise of cut-rate whiskey from Detroit's Purple Gang, friends of Al Capone. Capone wanted revenge for prior killings by Moran's gang and only wanted Moran targeted in this hit, not the entire North Side gang. Moran's men had arrived at the garage early that morning but Moran and one of his assistants was running late. When Moran arrived behind the garage, he saw a police car arrive and decided to wait elsewhere.
What Moran didn't know was that the police car was there as part of Capone's plan for his associates to escape. Capone had hired hitmen from outside the Chicago area so that Moran wouldn't be able to recognize them. Two of the men wore police uniforms and entered the garage as if conducting a raid. The five members of Moran's gang and two associates were lined-up against the brick wall as if they were to be searched. As the men were facing the rear wall of the garage, two more of Capone's men entered and the four hitmen, using two Thompson submachine guns and two shotguns, murdered the men inside and then escaped by having the "police officers" escort the other two men to the waiting police cars. Witnesses told the police that they saw policemen leaving the area with two men "in custody."
It wasn't until Highball, a German Shepherd owned by one of the victims, began barking and howling that anyone came to look inside the garage. Highball and Frank Gusenberg, who despite being shot fourteen times refused to say anything about the killers before dying three hours later, were the only two survivors. Photos of the gruesome aftermath were posted in newspapers around the country.
The infamous wall from 2122 North Clark Street (minus a few dozen bricks sold over the years by its previous owner) is now on display at the Las Vegas Mob Museum, so I guess if you want something non-traditional for your Valentine, you can take them there.
Me? Maybe I'll take the Thompson into the garage and fire a few blank rounds towars the brick walls in commemoration. It's less fattening than chocolate; it won't die like cut flowers; and it's a tradition I can do every February 14th.
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